Peace through Civility

It’s my Party, and I’ll post if I want to!

~ paxgirl ~ Leave a comment

“Well, I SAW it online, so…”

This post is borne of the “furious-typing-Kermit-the-Frog” moment I had last night, aimed at someone I love, and is also my reaction to a whole passel of re-posted and inaccurate posts that hit my newsfeed this morning that are drivel passed off as actual news.

Read first for context:   https://goo.gl/oUvJh5

Repeat after me, 3 times:

“These memes, unverified stories, and mislabeled/doctored photos are hurtful, incite anger, perpetuate prejudice and spread lies.

These memes, unverified stories, and mislabeled/doctored photos are hurtful, incite anger, perpetuate prejudice and spread lies.

These memes, unverified stories, and mislabeled/doctored photos are hurtful, incite anger, perpetuate prejudice and spread lies.”

I will admit to posting a few unverified stories over the years. Not many, but it has happened. When called out, I have apologized and deleted the post.

It doesn’t matter to me what party or agenda the BS meme or ‘story’ supports-if it’s inaccurate or unkind, it’s inaccurate or unkind.

A couple of hints: if the source (hint: the word “source:______” is located at the bottom of the post, or if you’re forwarding an article you can tell whether the article is from a verifiable news source/show or simply a blog/opinion show) is an email from Drunk Uncle with a million forward arrows and has multicolored flashing ALL CAPS, or if the post has any version of:

Continue reading →

The Children are Listening. Still.

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untitled-image-26The children WERE listening. Heard by me during school bus duty yesterday: (from a fourth grader) “He hates Black people, we’re all gonna die.” (from a 2nd grader in place of the usual good morning greeting) “Ms. Frisella, we’re doomed!” (from another 2nd grader) “He hates Black people and women.” (from the daughter of upstanding citizens, Haitian immigrants) “My brother says they’re gonna come to the door and take my parents back to Haiti.”

All of the above: beautiful, frightened, Black children.
Teachers, parents, everyone???
We’ve got a lot of work to do. Our kids are scared.
Get it together and start talking nice.

Give our kids ways to talk about the election in ways that make them feel safe and heard. Allay the fears-maybe by asking them things like, “So, moving forward, what are things we can do to make your life (this community, this country, the world) a better, more peaceful place? What actions can we take together that will make you feel safe?” Take away the helpless feeling of fear and replace it with positive action.

There is NO excuse for the United States to have had children living in fear yesterday because of the Presidential election results. The grownups did this (no finger-pointing; people in all parties are guilty of the animosity, of crafting fear-inciting ads, of sharing mean-spirited posts and un-fact-based “facts”,  of re-posting great uncle Frank’s “share if you agree!” memes, and of the unkind kitchen table talk- and remember I teach elementary school and “S/he did it FIRST!” bounces right off teachers), and shame on us.

United States, people. Yep, for more than half of us, our candidate didn’t win. We have to move forward and do our best to make the best of an unwanted situation. That’s harder to do for little hearts and minds.

United States. How about we let our kids be kids? How about we stop scaring them? There’s something more important than anybody’s need to post or say something inflammatory.

What, you ask? What’s bigger than my need to make a point on Facebook and burn that old high school classmate who disagrees with me so I can give myself a little false validation? What’s more precious than me using my frantic little typing fingers to put someone down so I can feel superior for just one second?

Children.
They are listening. They have been all along, and they’ve been hearing some pretty scary stuff from us-from those of us whose sacred duty is to look out for them. Teachers, parents, grandparents, mentors and elected officials.

They’re afraid, and for many of them, rightfully so. What are we going to do to make them feel safe and heard?

What are YOU going to do to make them safe?

Peace, friends. untitled-image

 

aw, come ON

~ paxgirl ~ 1 Comment

Please watch the video I’ve linked below, then read the rant.

How to Deal with Protesters with Understanding and Civility.

Protesters: heard and acknowledged rather than threatened, or called “bad people” who are ruining our country, or sucker-punched. No violence incited. Was the President happy? Clearly not. But he still let them know that he heard them and understood their frustration and was hoping they’d sit and remain part of the conversation. Whether you like our President or not-hopefully you can see that he was certainly civil, inclusive and Presidential in his response.

(yes, I know this was more than a year ago, which doesn’t reduce its impact; the contrary, the contrast is even more striking to me, as it was all over the news when it happened and could have set an example for others at future events. I also remember the “You’re in my house!” response at another time, which I must admit I thought was pretty great. But you are hereby absolved of sending me videos of every time our President was heckled and responded less graciously. I’m linking you to this one example because, well, it’s exemplary!)

I haven’t unleashed Rachel Maddow’s time-stamped proof of incitement and encouragement to resort to violence. I still might. But I don’t know who would still need proof at this point that a current front-runner needs to choose his words in a more thoughtful and kind manner. There is no good intent behind the dreadful things he says. Continue reading →

Teach students to care about others instead of measuring how they compare to each other

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Heartfelt post about the Test Mess

This post.  Not my work, but it’s what I would have said, though maybe not as eloquently. Read and share if you would-if you know/are a teacher, parent, or student, you know how vital it is to return to the REAL priorities in education…and in life.

 

We must stop these crazed half naked psychopaths from feeding their children in front of other people!

~ paxgirl ~ 1 Comment

If it's good enough for Jesus.....
If it’s good enough for Jesus…..

I’ve often wondered about what’s going on in the heads of people who want to shame women for doing 1) as Matt wrote, doing what God intended them to do, and 2) doing what the same people will shame women for if they DON’T do it. Breasts are not ‘nasty.’ No body part is shameful, nor are their (God-created, remember?) functions. Click the link below for a fantastic blog post.

We must stop these crazed half naked psychopaths from feeding their children in front of other people!.

…what was that Statue of Liberty thing again?

~ paxgirl ~ 5 Comments

Give me….who?

“The love of one’s country is a splendid thing. But why should love stop at the border?”

-Pablo Casals

Boggled. That is my mind right now–befuddled and boggled.

I read the comments section (I know, the last thing ANYONE sane should do is read the comments) that follows an online article about Haitian refugees being flown into the states, both adults to come stay with family members already here, and children and babies here to be taken in and adopted by Americans.

I’m not going to add any power to those comments by quoting them. You know the drill: a bunch of powerless ignorants who think if they spew enough garbage, someone will finally validate their existence. Hate and bigotry are their drugs of choice.  It blows my mind to read such drivel.

Basically, the sentiment is that we should NOT be taking in our  human brothers and sisters who are in such desperate and dire need. Property value apparently trumps compassion. Prejudice trumps being charitable.  Entitlement trumps generosity. An accident of Providence, namely being born on American soil, trumps following  the Golden Rule, a version of which can be found in virtually every religious denomination’s teachings.  Narrowness and fear trump TRUTH.

Here is my truth. I do not care if any of the refugees are uneducated. It doesn’t mean that they have any less brainpower than we do.  On the contrary it just means they haven’t been to school. Joe Comment, on the other hand, may have gotten through 8th grade, but his ignorance is evident with every word he types.

I don’t care if English isn’t their first language. Interesting though, how many Haitians speak English.  Gotta be pretty smart to speak two languages. That’s more than I can do, and I’m a pretty bright girl.

Property value?  What about Human value?

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…without Borders

~ paxgirl ~ 2 Comments

 

(AP Photo/Jorge Cruz)

“I am part and parcel of the whole and cannot find God apart from the rest of humanity.”

Mohandas Gandhi

On the news I see pundits talking about the aid that’s going to Haiti in a way that makes me think, “I’m sorry, WHAT?”

They’re comparing dollar amounts between countries, percentages per capita, percentages of the total aid sent so far. Who’s given the most? Wow, Israel’s doing this? How many troops have WE sent compared to how many troops THEY’VE sent?  Obviously THEY are sending this because of (name political outcome goal here).  Let’s analyze this leader’s words about the earthquake (on a side note, my analysis of Pat Robertson’s words: STFU).

This is Robin Frisella, reporting from the comfort of my kitchen, where I have electricity, a phone, food, and a roof over my head.  The most horrible tragedy has occurred and killed maybe two hundred thousand of our brothers and sisters. Those who survived the quake  are bleeding, crying, and dying from thirst. They are trapped alone under buildings. They are looking for their mommy and daddy.

Shame on the media outlets, once again, for looking for a way to gain ratings by inciting discord. Shame on anyone who is listening to that drivel. Take notes when the Aid organizations are listed, take a pee break when the talking heads start deciding who’s the biggest giver, or speculating on the political motive behind each country’s donations.

THEY (WE) ARE GIVING WHAT WE CAN, AND THEY (WE) ARE GIVING BECAUSE WE CARE.

We are giving because we don’t want our two-story houses to collapse upon us. We are giving because we can’t imagine what a disaster of this magnitude would do to us. We are giving because in between the analysts, we see the photo of the little girl who is in the hospital clutching her doll with her unbandaged fingers. We are giving because we can imagine how it would feel to be on top of a pile of rubble, desperately digging with bare fingers to get to our child.

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Wake up, Everybody

~ paxgirl ~ 2 Comments

“The world won’t get no better if we just let it be
The world won’t get no better we gotta change it yeah, just you and me.”

-McFadden/Whitehead/Carstarphen

change the world more than the world changes you.

On this New Year’s Eve, I’m planning to attend the funeral home Visitation for a former student  (see my post “I Remember Randall” below).   Not exactly the champagne and confetti that most will enjoy, true.  And it’s not my intention to bring anyone down on this festive day. But today is not just a day of celebration; for many it’s a day of reflection, of resolution and remembrance. Here’s how I plan in 2010 to celebrate the memory of an artistic, funny, athletic boy for whom the world didn’t get better in time:

I’m going to stop what I’m doing to look my son, and my students, directly in the eye when they have something to say. That’s what the “pause” button is for, that’s what bookmarks are for, that’s what the “reheat” button on the microwave is for, that’s what a planning period is for.

I’m going to go nuts every time a kid brings me a picture drawn just for me, and hang it up somewhere in the classroom immediately!

I’m going to tye-dye my Peacenik cloak in the boldest colors of the rainbow, and wear it like Lady GaGa wears, well, everything.

I’m going to smile when I’m driving.

I’m going to make more of what we teachers call “Sunshine Calls” to my students parents, so that more kids can go home to find smiles and approval.

I’m going to keep track of former students (thank you Facebook!) and let them know that we’re still pulling for them at their old elementary school.

Most of you didn’t know Randall other than by what you might have read in my first post. Hopefully that won’t stop you from reflecting for a moment, and doing something for a child in 2010 that will honor  Randall’s short life. By doing so, you’ll help bring Peace to a gone-too-soon spirit, and you’ll advance the spread of Peace in our own world.

If you’re so inclined, add a comment to let us know what you come up with. I’d love to read, and be inspired by, your insights!

Happy New Year, friends.

“Guess what? So are you.”

~ paxgirl ~ 1 Comment

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

I remember being about 10 years old. I was over at a friend’s house. We were in her room on her bed, giggling, talking about boys and school and 10 year-old stuff.  The conversation turned to a second friend. It was pretty benign until we started talking about an aspect of her appearance.  As someone who was ridiculed daily, I don’t know why I did this, but I made some stupid remark that our pea brains found to be just hysterical.  What I didn’t know was that Friend 1 had stashed Friend 2 under the bed just before I arrived.

When Friend 2 slid out from under that bed, the embarrassment and shame I felt reverberated within every cell of my body. Even now, writing about it, the echo of that sensation makes me cringe.  Of course, Friend 1 was simply delighted by our discomfort, and Friend 2 bravely laughed it off. Because when you’re 10 that’s what you do.

But decades later, I wonder if Friend 2 remembers that afternoon; whether or not she recalls that episode, I know that moment put a dent in her self-confidence.

I wish I could say from that moment on I spent the rest of my childhood speaking only golden platitudes about everyone I knew.  Nope, though I did develop a habit of peering under the furniture  before I opened my yap. And while I did make a concerted attempt to speak kindly, I was still an insecure kid, after all, and at the time I thought being what I perceived as  ‘accepted’ was more important than anything else.

I was well into adulthood before I got it together gossip-wise.

*****Disclaimer!  ‘got it together’ is a relative term in this musing; I still fall into the trap occasionally but with effort can change the spin of a remark mid-sentence. When that doesn’t work, I sometimes call my own self out in front of whoever I’m talking to, which can be a tad disconcerting to my companion….*****

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Constant Comment

~ paxgirl ~ 1 Comment

The world is a dangerous place to live,
not because of the people who are evil,
but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.
— Albert Einstein

From the Sojourners  blog site (“faith, politics, culture”) regarding comments to others’ posts:

“Comment Code of Conduct

I will express my disagreements with other community members’ ideas without insulting, mocking, or slandering them personally. (Matthew 5:22)

I will not exaggerate others’ beliefs nor make unfounded prejudicial assumptions based on labels, categories, or stereotypes. I will always extend the benefit of the doubt. (Ephesians 4:29)

I will hold others accountable by clicking “report” on comments that violate these principles, based not on what ideas are expressed but on how they’re expressed. (2 Thessalonians 3:13-15)

I understand that comments reported as abusive are reviewed by Sojourners staff and are subject to removal. Repeat offenders will be blocked from making further comments. (Proverbs 18:7)”

I’m telling you this right now. Continue reading →