…what was that Statue of Liberty thing again?

~ paxgirl ~ 5 Comments

Give me….who?

“The love of one’s country is a splendid thing. But why should love stop at the border?”

-Pablo Casals

Boggled. That is my mind right now–befuddled and boggled.

I read the comments section (I know, the last thing ANYONE sane should do is read the comments) that follows an online article about Haitian refugees being flown into the states, both adults to come stay with family members already here, and children and babies here to be taken in and adopted by Americans.

I’m not going to add any power to those comments by quoting them. You know the drill: a bunch of powerless ignorants who think if they spew enough garbage, someone will finally validate their existence. Hate and bigotry are their drugs of choice.  It blows my mind to read such drivel.

Basically, the sentiment is that we should NOT be taking in our  human brothers and sisters who are in such desperate and dire need. Property value apparently trumps compassion. Prejudice trumps being charitable.  Entitlement trumps generosity. An accident of Providence, namely being born on American soil, trumps following  the Golden Rule, a version of which can be found in virtually every religious denomination’s teachings.  Narrowness and fear trump TRUTH.

Here is my truth. I do not care if any of the refugees are uneducated. It doesn’t mean that they have any less brainpower than we do.  On the contrary it just means they haven’t been to school. Joe Comment, on the other hand, may have gotten through 8th grade, but his ignorance is evident with every word he types.

I don’t care if English isn’t their first language. Interesting though, how many Haitians speak English.  Gotta be pretty smart to speak two languages. That’s more than I can do, and I’m a pretty bright girl.

Property value?  What about Human value?

Continue reading →

…without Borders

~ paxgirl ~ 2 Comments

 

(AP Photo/Jorge Cruz)

“I am part and parcel of the whole and cannot find God apart from the rest of humanity.”

Mohandas Gandhi

On the news I see pundits talking about the aid that’s going to Haiti in a way that makes me think, “I’m sorry, WHAT?”

They’re comparing dollar amounts between countries, percentages per capita, percentages of the total aid sent so far. Who’s given the most? Wow, Israel’s doing this? How many troops have WE sent compared to how many troops THEY’VE sent?  Obviously THEY are sending this because of (name political outcome goal here).  Let’s analyze this leader’s words about the earthquake (on a side note, my analysis of Pat Robertson’s words: STFU).

This is Robin Frisella, reporting from the comfort of my kitchen, where I have electricity, a phone, food, and a roof over my head.  The most horrible tragedy has occurred and killed maybe two hundred thousand of our brothers and sisters. Those who survived the quake  are bleeding, crying, and dying from thirst. They are trapped alone under buildings. They are looking for their mommy and daddy.

Shame on the media outlets, once again, for looking for a way to gain ratings by inciting discord. Shame on anyone who is listening to that drivel. Take notes when the Aid organizations are listed, take a pee break when the talking heads start deciding who’s the biggest giver, or speculating on the political motive behind each country’s donations.

THEY (WE) ARE GIVING WHAT WE CAN, AND THEY (WE) ARE GIVING BECAUSE WE CARE.

We are giving because we don’t want our two-story houses to collapse upon us. We are giving because we can’t imagine what a disaster of this magnitude would do to us. We are giving because in between the analysts, we see the photo of the little girl who is in the hospital clutching her doll with her unbandaged fingers. We are giving because we can imagine how it would feel to be on top of a pile of rubble, desperately digging with bare fingers to get to our child.

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Shake it up, baby

~ paxgirl ~ 3 Comments

“Courage is like — it’s a habitus, a habit, a virtue: you get it by courageous acts. It’s like you learn to swim by swimming. You learn courage by couraging.”

–Mary Daly

Disco Inferno?

(Photo:Wizard Wellbeing)

When I was in Junior High, I went to a dance with a few girlfriends. Now I had never been to a dance, and had never danced in front of people before.  Also, I was ridiculously shy. So in the gym with my friends, I started to dance. Or so I thought.

Apparently I looked like I was “stepping on hot coals”–or so said a kid to one of my friends, who in her helpfulness passed that tidbit along to me.  Suffice to say, that, to refer back to today’s quote, I did NOT learn to dance by dancing. That throw-away comment has been emblazoned upon my psyche for lo, these many years.  And I can honestly say that it takes fewer than all my fingers to count the times I’ve danced since then (the dances with kids in my Music Classroom don’t count, and the Theme Park shows don’t count either).

I’m a musician, a singer, a guitar player, for God’s sake! But every time I approach a dance floor, I can hear the long ago judgment in my head.  A comment that NO one remembered 2 minutes later but me. I won’t even dance in front of myself.  I am an absurdly self-conscious wuss–when it comes to this.  And being absurdly self-conscious?  Very much a life-wasting characteristic.  And wussy-ness? Definitely not Peaceful.

Continue reading →

“you are the weakest link”

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never too late to fix the chain.

“No matter how big a nation is, it is no stronger that its weakest people, and as long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you might otherwise.”

-Marian Anderson

The chain is no stronger than its weakest link. Our national (for me global chain, you know I’m not fond of borders) chain is full of ‘weakest links,’ those who are keeping people down, and by doing so are denying themselves their own flight into true freedom.  Some I consider to be in this category (but great news! If they stop doing it, they return to shiny, unbreakable forged steel immediately):

Anyone who still uses the antiquated and antipathethic “they just need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps” pontification.  The people they’re talking about don’t have bootstraps, or boots, or the means to acquire them. Anyway, they don’t need boots so much as compassion.

*Try buying boots when you’re followed and given the evil eye the second you walk into a store.

*Try buying boots with the food stamps you’ve been forced to use because you left an abusive husband and brought 4 kids and a cat with you and you’re all sleeping on a cousin’s screened porch.

*Try buying boots when you’re ashamed to go into the store in your unwashed clothes -can’t do laundry because you don’t have running water.

*Try getting a job to buy boots when you don’t have clothes to wear to the interview.

*Try buying boots when no one in the store will talk to you because you are clearly homeless and as such you are assumed to be schizophrenic or alcoholic, or both, but you’re just another college-educated victim of the sub-prime fiasco and lost your home.

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The Unknown Wise Guy

~ paxgirl ~ 2 Comments

“Find peace with yourself by accepting not only what you are, but what you are never going to be.”
–Unknown Author

Okay, fellow perfectionists, that quote probably gave you a scary shudder; when I came across it, I had to use my left hand to pry my right index finger off the mouse (I was trying to delete the quote from my screen and from my short-term memory). Going back to a previous post where I proclaimed in all my wisdom (-damn it-) that finding real inner peace often requires a trip through some murk and mud, I decided that today I’m putting on the hip waders and plunging  in.

For me, here’s a little therapeutic self-indulgence. Maybe it will zap a nerve within you like the above quotation did for me. Or maybe it will just be a look into the mind of someone who’s spent a lifetime competing with herself in order to maintain a shred of self-esteem –who’s finally, finally, starting to get a clue. So let’s hit the esteemed Unknown’s wise words and start slogging through the murk:

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Show me the Money

~ paxgirl ~ 2 Comments

sow peace, reap peace.

“Once, when we were discussing a world peace project with my teacher Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, somebody asked him, ‘Where is all the money going to come from?’ And he replied without hesitation, ‘From wherever it is at the moment.’ “

–Deepak Chopra

The above anecdote resonated within me on many levels. First, the obvious grabber, is that the Maharishi’s faith was unwavering that the funding for the Peace project would come. His faith was steadfast to the point that  worrying over the fund-raising was unnecessary. He knew that the money for the project already existed in the world; in time, the way to amass the  financial support would make itself known, and the project would commence.

As a single mother living on a teacher’s wage, may I now say that wherever the money is at the moment, it’s not in my checking account, and it hasn’t mapquested my address yet.  I am no living example of the attitude conveyed by the Maharishi. Worrying about money is a daily event (the good news is, when I have enough-notice I didn’t say “when I’m rich”-I’ll stop worrying.).

Yet it did strike me as remarkable, this unwavering faith……”from wherever it is at the moment.”  So simple, so complex, so profound.

It’s not fund-raising, though, or my electric bill, that really prompted some thinking on my part. It was my own faith-my deep and abiding belief that a compassionate and peaceful world is possible. Because it is possible; in fact, the seeds of it already exist.

Within every beating heart is the seed of peace. It’s like ground cover, sprouting and spreading in all directions.

“…from wherever it is at the moment.”

Continue reading →

Wake up, Everybody

~ paxgirl ~ 2 Comments

“The world won’t get no better if we just let it be
The world won’t get no better we gotta change it yeah, just you and me.”

-McFadden/Whitehead/Carstarphen

change the world more than the world changes you.

On this New Year’s Eve, I’m planning to attend the funeral home Visitation for a former student  (see my post “I Remember Randall” below).   Not exactly the champagne and confetti that most will enjoy, true.  And it’s not my intention to bring anyone down on this festive day. But today is not just a day of celebration; for many it’s a day of reflection, of resolution and remembrance. Here’s how I plan in 2010 to celebrate the memory of an artistic, funny, athletic boy for whom the world didn’t get better in time:

I’m going to stop what I’m doing to look my son, and my students, directly in the eye when they have something to say. That’s what the “pause” button is for, that’s what bookmarks are for, that’s what the “reheat” button on the microwave is for, that’s what a planning period is for.

I’m going to go nuts every time a kid brings me a picture drawn just for me, and hang it up somewhere in the classroom immediately!

I’m going to tye-dye my Peacenik cloak in the boldest colors of the rainbow, and wear it like Lady GaGa wears, well, everything.

I’m going to smile when I’m driving.

I’m going to make more of what we teachers call “Sunshine Calls” to my students parents, so that more kids can go home to find smiles and approval.

I’m going to keep track of former students (thank you Facebook!) and let them know that we’re still pulling for them at their old elementary school.

Most of you didn’t know Randall other than by what you might have read in my first post. Hopefully that won’t stop you from reflecting for a moment, and doing something for a child in 2010 that will honor  Randall’s short life. By doing so, you’ll help bring Peace to a gone-too-soon spirit, and you’ll advance the spread of Peace in our own world.

If you’re so inclined, add a comment to let us know what you come up with. I’d love to read, and be inspired by, your insights!

Happy New Year, friends.

“Guess what? So are you.”

~ paxgirl ~ 1 Comment

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

I remember being about 10 years old. I was over at a friend’s house. We were in her room on her bed, giggling, talking about boys and school and 10 year-old stuff.  The conversation turned to a second friend. It was pretty benign until we started talking about an aspect of her appearance.  As someone who was ridiculed daily, I don’t know why I did this, but I made some stupid remark that our pea brains found to be just hysterical.  What I didn’t know was that Friend 1 had stashed Friend 2 under the bed just before I arrived.

When Friend 2 slid out from under that bed, the embarrassment and shame I felt reverberated within every cell of my body. Even now, writing about it, the echo of that sensation makes me cringe.  Of course, Friend 1 was simply delighted by our discomfort, and Friend 2 bravely laughed it off. Because when you’re 10 that’s what you do.

But decades later, I wonder if Friend 2 remembers that afternoon; whether or not she recalls that episode, I know that moment put a dent in her self-confidence.

I wish I could say from that moment on I spent the rest of my childhood speaking only golden platitudes about everyone I knew.  Nope, though I did develop a habit of peering under the furniture  before I opened my yap. And while I did make a concerted attempt to speak kindly, I was still an insecure kid, after all, and at the time I thought being what I perceived as  ‘accepted’ was more important than anything else.

I was well into adulthood before I got it together gossip-wise.

*****Disclaimer!  ‘got it together’ is a relative term in this musing; I still fall into the trap occasionally but with effort can change the spin of a remark mid-sentence. When that doesn’t work, I sometimes call my own self out in front of whoever I’m talking to, which can be a tad disconcerting to my companion….*****

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Peace in the Home vs. Peace in the Heart

~ paxgirl ~ 3 Comments

“Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict — alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence.”

– Dorothy Thompson

“I just need some Peace and Quiet.” How often is that ubiquitous phrase uttered by someone who’s frazzled, thinking that a nice long nap, or a couple of hours of silence, will solve everything? The expression “Peace and Quiet” has become commonplace that it’s slipped into cliche’ status. Look at it though–especially take note of the middle word: AND. Peace AND Quiet. As in, two separate entities.

Peace isn’t always quiet, and if we confuse quiet with peace, then we may never find peace of heart or peace of mind. We may have to feel a little discomfort on the journey to true peace. Scratch that “may” part. We will have some distinctly uneasy moments.

That’s okay. You’ll live, and so will I. And we’ll all be stronger, and the energy of the world will be elevated for us having endured, or even caused, a little dissonance, to do right:

The discomfort that may arise when you are a student in a classroom, and you don’t look to see how everybody else votes before you raise your hand (or keep it down).

The flush you feel when the room goes momentarily silent after you say, “Hey, that’s not right!” when someone makes a disparaging racial, sexist, religious or blonde (–yes, I am) remark.

The discomfiture you may experience in a staff meeting when you question the ethics of a business move.

The  unease you overcome before softly saying, “I’m not going to let you speak to me that way.”

The judgmental stares you’ll endure when you come to the aid of someone who’s just embarrassed  himself at a party.

The hardship you choose to face in order to keep your children, or any child,  physically and emotionally safe.

The abject fear a boy in a white shirt must have felt as he stood alone before an approaching tank.

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Constant Comment

~ paxgirl ~ 1 Comment

The world is a dangerous place to live,
not because of the people who are evil,
but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.
— Albert Einstein

From the Sojourners  blog site (“faith, politics, culture”) regarding comments to others’ posts:

“Comment Code of Conduct

I will express my disagreements with other community members’ ideas without insulting, mocking, or slandering them personally. (Matthew 5:22)

I will not exaggerate others’ beliefs nor make unfounded prejudicial assumptions based on labels, categories, or stereotypes. I will always extend the benefit of the doubt. (Ephesians 4:29)

I will hold others accountable by clicking “report” on comments that violate these principles, based not on what ideas are expressed but on how they’re expressed. (2 Thessalonians 3:13-15)

I understand that comments reported as abusive are reviewed by Sojourners staff and are subject to removal. Repeat offenders will be blocked from making further comments. (Proverbs 18:7)”

I’m telling you this right now. Continue reading →

WWFRD?

~ paxgirl ~ 1 Comment

“A mind at peace, a mind focused on not harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.”

-Unknown

This quote, simple yet eloquent, represents my philosophy of life. That, and the knowledge that a good homemade cookie is sometimes needed for medicinal purposes. Also, if you want to gauge your level of self-realization in this world, ask your cat (I’m feeling pretty good about myself this morning; I woke up with a cat sleeping on my chest, and the other curled up at my side. Then again, it was 40 degrees in Orlando this morning….).

While I can loftily proclaim my philosophy of peace, I can’t claim that I exemplify it (as the recent dent in the laminate floor in my living room can attest).

I am a mess. Continue reading →

All are Welcome

~ paxgirl ~ 2 Comments

I wonder every day about people who are angry at others who see the world in a different way; about those who are offended by the beliefs that don’t line up perfectly with their own; about those who can somehow justify a bias toward people whose skin is a different hue, fellow humans who worship in a different house, those in poverty, anyone who speaks English with an accent, those who want to marry but legally cannot, and (insert any other subgroup of humanity here); about righteous indignation in general.

Does this acrimony stem from fear? “If she can believe that so strongly, then maybe I’M wrong/bad/stupid?”

Is it born of a need to feel superior? “Your wrong-ness validates my wonderful-ness!”

Can insecurity be the fuel? “If YOU are beautiful but don’t look like me, maybe I’m not so cute after all.”

There is a church here in Orlando called Hope Unites. It is part of the UCC, which from what I gather, is based upon the “Come as you are” philosophy. A church that pays more than lip service to “All are Welcome” (straight, GLBT, brown, white, black, any denomination) is my kind of house.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if every house, every dinner table, every school, church, and country club had an “All are Welcome–and Celebrated!” sign at the entrance?

hmmmm….wait a minute….here I am wishing everyone feels like I do. Am I guilty of exactly what I was pondering in the beginning of this musing?

Peace, friends.

I remember Randall

~ paxgirl ~ 3 Comments

I remember a small, wiry boy with locs, who bounced into my classroom as a five year old. He sang with gusto, was a class clown, and made me laugh even when he was disrupting my ‘teacher’s flow.’

I remember his big round eyes that took everything in. I remember an infectious, impish grin that showed that he got the joke. I remember him sometimes wanting to sing in my chorus, sometimes not; when he did, all eyes turned to the skinny boy with the big smile and saucer eyes that peeked through the floppy, beautiful locs.

I remember watching him run 5k races with his up-and-down stride that still managed to propel him forward. I remember every hug, every high-five, and every field trip. What I don’t remember is anything in him that would cause him to take his own life before his 20th birthday. Rest in Peace, Randall; I hope you know how much you were loved.

My lessons from this? Always listen to every kid. There’s a girl I spend time with at the school bus stop every morning. She has a habit of telling me every detail of every minute of her life each day, while standing so close that I can feel her breath (if you know me, you know that I’m a toucher/hugger and my personal space cushion is very small, so if this is making me uneasy, you KNOW she’s too close for comfort!). This week I’ve made a real effort to pay close attention to her, to take slow deep breaths when I feel my space encroached and to just relax. I wonder: if a few more people had listened to Randall, would that have made a difference?

It also was, as these tragedies tend to be, a mighty perspective check. Really, when things like this are happening, is whatever I’m worrying/arguing/bitching about really a 10 on the emotional Richter scale? Of course not. Randall’s battle wasn’t about healthcare, partisan politics, talk radio ping-pong, global warming, or who deserved a Nobel Peace Prize. Randall’s battle was about survival, and he lost. So did the world.

Maybe, the next time any of us feel like criticizing someone, making an unkind remark, or flying off the handle about something, we could stop and ask ourselves, “Is this a 10?” If not, maybe it doesn’t need to be released into the universe. Maybe a deep breath, a quick perspective check, and a prayer would restore patience and compassion. Who knows?  That peaceful pause might save a life.

Peace, friends.

Happy Everything, Everyone!

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Whatever you are celebrating, whomever you are (or are not) worshiping, and however you are commemorating this season of holidays: I wish you well, I wish you love, and I wish you peace.